The B Movie Pitch Machine

Title: Godzillatte!

BMoviePitchMachine — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 03:42:47 +0000

Pitch: What happens when the global economic depression affects even the most recognizable of cinematic monsters? That’s right, Godzilla in a starbucks. Watch as she attempts to create legendary service, wonderful handcrafted beverages, and warm sandwiches all while attempting to control her urge to destroy the city.

Dialogue:
CUSTOMER: Umm excuse me I wanted this Iced Grande Caramel Macchiato with soy milk.
GODZILLA: RAAAWWWWR!!!!
CUSTOMER: I guess this is good… do you have any of those drink, coupon things? I feel like I need one-
GODZILLA: RAAWWWR!!!!
CUSTOMER: Well fine if that’s how you feel I’ll start going to Dunkin’ Doughnuts!
GODZILLA: You know what I’m sorry, I can remake that beverage for you, it’s just been a stressful day.
CUSTOMER: Nope damage is done sorry sir-
GODZILLA: It’s MISS RAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Title: Shake Rattle and Doom!

BMoviePitchMachine — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 00:51:46 +0000

Synopsis: Earthquakes aren’t rare in California. However one earthquake threatens to wipe out California in one foul swoop! This earthquake, which also effects the ocean (Creating GIANT tidal waves), and the wind (Unleashing GIANT tornadoes). If California isn’t evacuated immediately it coulod fall victim to a Shake, Rattle, and Doom!

Title: Webcam Confessions with a Vampire.

BMoviePitchMachine — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 04:24:21 +0000

This was initially a Web Series I wanted to start but haven’t gotten rolling on.

Synopsis: John Spidderman has a problem. He’s afraid of large crowds of people. Hoping to conquer his fear he turns to the coolest, most suave chick magnets he can think of- Vampires. But instead of becoming an amazing rock musician, or a smooth count he’s still the same person… just undead. Watch as John attempts to date many different types of girls he meets through internet dating all of whom have no idea he’s serious when he says he’s really a vampire.

Title: Phantomantis.

BMoviePitchMachine — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 22:03:24 +0000

SYNOPSIS: A group of crypto-zooligists enter a crack in the ocean’s surface looking for new and unexplained phenomena. As they get closer to the crack they are attacked by an unknown creature. Plummeting to the bottom of the crack they find Mantatlantis!

As they explore one by one a mysterious creature is killing them. If they don’t find a way to communicate with the outside world these Cryptozoologists might find themselves the unwilling food of the Phantomantis!

Title: Frankenstein 2010!

BMoviePitchMachine — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 04:01:45 +0000

Synopsis: A crew of fishermen (a la Deadliest Catch) uncover in a block of ice a victorian-style gentleman. After thawing him out he rants and raves about a monster he must find. Suddenly crew members start going missing. They turn up dead, their bodies mutilated, organs removed. And it’s up to one fisherman, a large man who goes by the name Chum, to stop the evil Dr. Frankenstein before he turns his entire ship into either a mess of sewn together organs, or a creature more terrifying than any in his wildest dreams!

Title: A Good Latte To Die.

BMoviePitchMachine — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 23:25:46 +0000

Synopsis: Trying to create the ultimate blended beverage a number of Starbucks employees start bringing items from home into work and blending them into their beverages. Everyhting from broccolli, to chocolate bars, to raw meat are tried with varying success. That is until one of them uses bits and pieces from a meteor which crashed to earth the night before.

The blended beverage tasted terrible and was immediately discarded. Little did the baristas know, it wouldn’t stay discarded for good. In fact it sprouted legs and started following the Baristas home, killing them in ironic coffe scenarios (Blending people and adding whipped cream, grinding the into bags, smothering them in caramel sauce).

Who will survive when it’s a Good Latte To Die!?

Title: Ultracorn 2: Husk Little Baby

BMoviePitchMachine — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 04:10:00 +0000

Special thanks to Mike for helping me with the idea of an Ultracorn sequel, and the need to use the word husk.

Synopsis: Little did the surviiving Geneticists know… they would never be safe. That’s right the creation they made to help a dying girl’s wish come true is back… but this time… it’s pint sized!

Unbeknownst to the Geneticists the genetic cocktail they used to make the Ultracorn Mommy in fact reproduced asexually! As a result the baby’s back and Momma is it angry!

Many will flee, all will tremble, and select few will be impaled by Ultracorn 2: Husk Little Baby!

Title: Sasquatch Labyrinth

BMoviePitchMachine — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 00:48:41 +0000

Synopsis: Jared Spokane was granted custody of his kids only once a month so he tried to make every second count. Being the Outdoorsy type he thought maybe his kids would be the same. Unfortunately for him his 12 year old son would rather be playing his hand held video games and his daughter would rather text her friends than go hiking or exploring.

When a couple of escaped convicts find their way into the woods they stumble upon the campsite and immediately hold the family hostage. Fleeing from the law one convict and the two kids falls down a hole in the woods leaving one convict and their father still on the ground.

Attempting to see the way the kids use their devices to move forward only to see a message scrawled innto the wall. The message is “Welcome to the Sasquatch Labyrinth!

Can the kids escape the labyrinth and find their father? Will the convicts get away scott free? Or will they be eaten by the mysterious creature screaming under the earth? Find out in Sasquatch Labyrinth!

Oops!

BMoviePitchMachine — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 00:35:20 +0000

So I completely botched this project b going to Connecticon this weekend and not having a laptop anymore.

I’m still going to keep going! Try very hard to do one a day!

Title: Being John Malkovitch 2… Eat Lead Malkobitches!

BMoviePitchMachine — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 01:53:48 +0000

While trying to get into the head of a serial killer Benjamin Bradley invents a machine that allows him to view what his killer does. But when the machine goes haywire killer wakes up believing that he is john Malkovitch. When the two later find that John Malkovitch has gone on a murtder spree it’s up to Benjamin to help his killer to stop… Being John Malkovitch!